Reclaiming Life and Existing in the World

This past Fall, I started drawing. It was an attempt to get out of my thinking mind and into another space. Let me say, right here, that I cannot draw and have no real artistic ability. At the same time, I wanted to try something that, to me, was and is a huge challenge. In a sense, my attempts have been the path to letting go of all of that detritus of negative thoughts and emotions and just be in the moment of drawing with a pen or pencil.

Like most things I do, I took the most difficult path (without really knowing it) and dove right into a picture I took on my travels in Bhutan. I chose landscapes and then gravitated to buildings (which is where I am right now). I am drawn (no pun intended) to the architectural and design style of buildings and nature. The lines and shapes created in natural places fascinate me. I love then taking those images and turning them into something I interpret.

The funny thing is, my vision is my own and, to my mind’s eye, somehow missing something. I cannot grasp the exact curve or line of a space and it clearly shows, to me, when I produce the drawing. I cringe, actually, at my own lack of skill. And STILL I draw. It’s like I am trying to accept that part of my self that is somehow my own.

OK, yea, I’ve written about self and am well aware that I have no self in the terms many folks imagine “self” to be. I am a collection of thoughts, emotions, experiences, nothing more. What I think of my self are those collected identities that change over time. Maybe with the art/drawing, however, I can tap into a true nature. That connection to the world; a non-binary way of seeing things. Hmmm. Anyway. Here are my drawings.

A Tree in the Woods
My First Attempt at drawing a House
Attempt #2
A Series of Leaves
A Cartoonish Tree

So, what have I learned through these various permutations of drawing? Well, I can say I was completely in the world of drawing while drawing. I definitely dropped my mind. That one benefit – no mind – was my goal. I definitely achieved that one thing. Small glories.

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